Overloaded

I have taken a long break in writing on this blog. Originally, my plan was to have 1 post on Monday through Friday and take the weekends off. A quick look will show that I have not posted since May!?!

I am currently going through the roughest time of my life. Tougher then a diagnosis of T1 diabetes. Tougher then losing the guy I intended to marry to an unexpected death when I was 25 years old. Lately, I have really been focused on fixing the area of my life that is so uncertain. I just haven’t had the desire to write about diabetes.

So, when I feel overloaded, I take a break. Fortunately, for me, I just returned from a much needed and overdue vacation. I went to the mountains to a place I have known my whole life. I took in the beauty of the mountains, some still snow capped, and that sounds of a river. I spent time in a national park and marveled at the beauty. I saw a magnificent falls as well as many elk and 2 moose! It is really rare to see two at the same time.

Being in nature connects me back to what really matters in life. I fortunately did not have cell phone service where I stayed. I enjoyed being disconnected from my phone and tablet which stayed at home.

So, I’m glad to report that I’m back writing now. The words are coming easy. I don’t know how often I will post, but I do hope what I post is helpful. In this instance, I would rather have quality over quantity.

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Being open

Early on in my life with T1 I did not like to share that I had diabetes as I thought people might treat me different. As time went on and with hypoglycemic unawareness setting in at the age of 13, it became clear for safety reasons that I could not hide that diabetes is a part of my life.

I have been under the most stress I have ever faced as my spouse filed for divorce and served me with divorce papers while I was in the hospital. A protection order that a judge put in place to protect me, has meant that we are not able to communicate. As someone who has always been inquisitive, not being able to get answers from the guy I was married to for eleven years has been very challenging.

Just as I am very open about having diabetes as a low can unexpectedly sneak up on me, I am finding that it is important for me to be open that I am going through a divorce. Today I made a trip to Costco on my way home from counseling and I was thrilled that they have Justin’s Nut Butter and Peanut Butter Cups. These are helping me through the divorce. When the check your receipt woman looked at my purchases, 4 boxes of the peanut butter cups and one box of spinach, I let her know I am going through a divorce. Her response was classic and brought a smile to my face as she said “You may want some chocolate ice cream!”

It has been so encouraging to me to find support in the most unexpected of places.

283

It is #BGWed and I posted my much too high morning reading of 283. Ever since the day after Thanksgiving 2014, I have been experiencing the most stress in my life. My blood glucose readings are certainly reflecting this as my A1c level has gone higher then I like.

I am thankful with an appointment with my dietician today as she is helping me with a meal plan to make my daily meals easier to prepare. Cooking is not my favorite thing to do and I don’t think it ever will be.

I think for those of us with diabetes and I certainly know for me, I wish eating was not necessary for survival. This would make my life so much easier. My life would be less expensive and think of all the time I would save with no food shopping, preparation, and dishes. Not to mention money as I do prefer organic and grass fed beef. I even give my puppy grass fed chew sticks that thankfully Costco sells.

However, this is just not reality even though I have wanted it to be reality for as long as I can remember.

I do recognize that eating with family and friends can be an enriching and needed time in dealing with the unexpected events life always throws at us or a time to enjoy fellowship.

So, this morning I started my day at 283 and I can’t wait for it to be under 150 and above 80. The overnight high or low readings are the ones that do the most damage and frustrate me and scare me the most.

As always, I will keep plowing along and not get struck on the high number I woke to this morning as I know it will not stay with me all day.

I hope to enjoy a late breakfast as that will mean my BG is back in my target range. A place I try to stay as often as I can. Thirty years into this it is so important to be in my target range.

Happy #BGWed to you, I hope your numbers run where you like them!